Looking Back

Poetry, Ponderings

So after finding the poem in the previous post I decided to dig some more through my old files, and MAN, there is a lot of stuff stored on my computer from years ago! For instance, the following poem of mine I wrote in 2007 when I was a Junior in High School… it seems SO long ago!

Sometimes I feel like the girl in the crowd
Overlooked by the hustle of moving faces
Doomed to be the one ingraved in the background
Never noticed for my humble graces
That girl who you see sitting alone
Not in exile, but in well-thought choice
Who would rather be queitly on her own
Then to the crowd, lose her voice
I am the one who remembered will be
Not for my honors or patience or pay
But,when people look back they will say she
Was the one who had something worthwhile to say
Now I may be the girl alone in the crowd
But someday I’ll be a much larger part
For soon you will see my thoughts shouted loud*
And recognize the innermost part of my heart

It’s funny to read this and try to conjure up memories of why I wrote this… throughout life I have never really had much to complain about, so it’s fun to find these and try to imagine what on earth could have put me in this type of mood (which actually probably is not that rare for me now that I think about it, just ask my closest friends). Anywho, I have decided that although it would sound better if I had gotten overwhelmed by the ignorance and immaturity of my fellow 11th graders and wanted to address the disgrace of humanity, it was most likely that I had gotten indirectly picked on by one the ‘popular’ kids and took it far too much to heart or that I had to refrain from defending my beliefs once again in my JV theatre class – a very frustrating and frequent occurrence. Overall, I kind of like looking back and seeing how much I’ve changed (as well as how much I haven’t). It’s amazing to think that although it was only two or three years ago it feels like an eternity, I feel like I’ve matured so much since then, and yet I am still pretty much the same. Life’s funny in that way, I suppose.

*I don’t understand how you can “see” my “thoughts shouted loud”, perhaps I was trying to be my own William Butler Yates?*

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