Poetry

Dear Sister

Poetry

Dear Sister,
This is about a girl who just caught her bus.
She is one of us.
She wants to be everything at once.
But mostly feels like nothing at all.

She wants to be tall.
She wants to be taken seriously,
But is usually taken for granted,
And now is being taken to the corner
of Grant and Avenue D.
She is part of you and me.
Her hair is a mess
And she’s wearing a dress
That hasn’t been washed in a while.
She cracks a small smile.
At the boy in the front
Who just shot a glance her way.
But he’s not looking at her.
Instead he looks at the seat
Next to hers where he meets
the eyes of a girl
Whose dress is clean.
He wasn’t being mean.
But she felt in his eyes
a life’s worth of lies
She’d been telling herself in her dreams.
The lies that crept in her head
When she laid in her bed
Wishing the sun not to rise.
Clenching her eyes.
The lies that said she wasn’t good enough.
Not smart enough. Not pretty enough.
Not tough enough.
Her heart was rough.
The soft tissues that grew
Were now black and blue
From the beatings she gave to herself.
She put her dreams on a shelf.
Since she’d never achieve them
She’d much rather leave them
Far out of reach.
If she only knew
That the lies were not true.
But they tore through her like bleach.
Fading away, a bit everyday,
her marvelous, colorful hue.
This girl is me and you.
Constantly bombarded
And hopelessly guarded
from a world that demands nothing less
Than perfection and grace
Power wrapped in lace
A maiden who’s not in distress.
Because heaven forbid we feel stressed
And wear a dress
with hair that hasn’t been washed in a while.
Heaven forbid that we smile.
If the world only knew
All the things we could do
If left to achieve our own dreams
But the world isn’t as cruel as it seems
If we stand hand in hand,
Change from ask to demand,
We can finally go the extra mile.
We can learn to truly smile.

My dear, dear sister
we all have grown blisters
from where the world has rubbed us
against the grain of our souls.
So let’s make some new goals.
Be messy.
Be graceful.
Be crazy.
Be tasteful.
Be your own kind of strong.
Together, we’ll right the wrong
And tomorrow’s sisters can live the lives we wished for all along.

This poem is carb-free.

Everyday, Poetry

No carbs. No sugar. No bread. No cheese.
Hold the salad dressing, please.
No cake. No fruit. Sugar-free gum,
I can’t eat that, it’s after one.
No thank you, I brought my own,
I only eat what I’ve homegrown.
Want to split dessert with me?
I only drink unsweetened tea.
Jenny, Watchers, Thirty Whole.
Another diet, one more goal.
Stripping out the extra snacks,
Only hundred calorie packs.
Skipping yet another meal,
It doesn’t matter how I feel.
Missing out on lunch with friends,
Dieting that never ends.
Counting inches one by one,
Never happy, never done.
Avoiding aisles at the store,
Pacing ‘cross kitchen the floor.
Always checking on the scale,
Feeling hungry, looking frail.
Breathing out and sucking in.
Barely living, but I’m thin.

Some of you know that I had an eating disorder in college. Others know that I still struggle with an unhealthy relationship with food today. Now you know both. Everyday I have to remind myself that I am not what I eat, what I weigh, or what I wear. I have to choose every day to see myself as Christ sees me: as a “beautifully and wonderfully made” child of God. But the struggle is real, y’all. And that is why my heart aches for my fellow humans who are bound by food, enslaved by society’s warped beauty standards, and battling against poor self image. So many women and men make their appearance the biggest priority in their lives, when in reality, our bodies will inevitably fail us. That’s a fact. I hope this post serves as a reminder that food is not everything, weight is just a number, diets shouldn’t control you, and your life is worth far more than food restrictions. And you are, too.

Doubt.

Poetry

Do.
Do it.
It will, so do it.
It will work, so do it.
It might not work, so maybe do it.
It will not, so don’t do it.
Don’t do it.
Don’t do.
Don’t.

If At First You Don’t Succeed…

Poetry

Success isn’t counted up in dollars,
or measured out by your acclaim,
It doesn’t depend on colored collars,
or how many people know your name.

It isn’t marked by job or title,
Whether on a card or plaque,
It’s not position that is vital,
It isn’t based on skill or knack.

Success is knowing you’ve done something,
Tacked it down and signed your name,
It’s never losing faith or doubting,
even when you’ve lost the game.

It’s believing that you’re worth it,
When everybody says you’re not,
It’s trying even when you’ve failed it,
And always giving one last shot.

It’s persevering in times of trouble,
Even though you know you’ll fall,
It’s working hard and doing double,
When you haven’t got the strength at all.

Success isn’t based on fame or glory,
It’s built by living well each day,
It’s being brave enough to live your story,
With all your will, in every way.

I Write A Lot

Poetry

I write a lot of poetry,

That nobody will ever see,

Because a little part of me,

Is afraid they’ll say it sucks.

Then what does that make me?

Poetry

I may not think the way you do,

Or share a similar world view,

I suck at basic social cues,

But I’m a person, too.

 

I may not laugh out loud at jokes,

Or be a fan of cooked egg yolks,

I am obsessed with Diet Cokes,

But I’m a person, too.

 

I may not always sing on key,

Or like to go on shopping sprees,

I might be terrified of bees,

But I’m a person, too.

 

I may not always keep my cool,

Or say I’ve ever “hated” school,

And every time I sleep, I drool,

But I’m a person, too.

 

I may not have the perfect smile,

Or have the most impressive style,

I would not walk 500 miles,

But I’m a person, too.

 

I may not be the type to cry,

Or one to look you in the eyes,

Emotions tend to make me shy,

But I’m a person, too.

 

I may over-think a lot,

And question everything I’ve got,

But whether you like it or not,

I’m still a person, too.

 

Are you?

My Book Collection

Everyday, Poetry

Image

To read is to open up your mind,

You’ll be surprised at what you’ll find.

A book is more than words and glue,

It’s takes a hold and sticks on you.

And if you take the time to dwell,

Your book will come to know you well.

So grab a novel, play, or poem,

And let the story take you home.

Home (A Simple Poem)

Poetry

Home isn’t where you lay your head,
Or where you keep your clothes,
It isn’t where you make your bed,
Or where you blow your nose.

Home isn’t where you brush your teeth,
Or where you sit to eat,
It isn’t even where you sleep,
Or where you rest your feet.

Home isn’t where you first were born,
Or where you went to school,
It isn’t where your jeans were torn,
When kids thought you weren’t cool.

Home isn’t hidden underground,
Or in a building nice and tall,
It may not be in just one place,
Or in a place at all.

Home may not be where it once was,
Or where you thought it’d be,
It may be far from those you love,
By more than one degree.

Home may not be here nor there,
But it isn’t very far,
Home is having friends who care,
And love you for who you are.

So whether you live down the street,
Or far across the sea,
Home is knowing you are loved,
And that’s all it needs to be.

A Poem from My Past

Poetry

The following is a poem I wrote a little over a year ago on September 1, 2011. I very rarely post any of my poetry, partly because I fear people judging my work; mostly because I write them for me and I don’t think they really hold much meaning to people outside of my inner world. Every so often I go through my files and read my old writings, either to laugh at myself or to remember how I felt at the time. Sometimes, I feel as though my past self wrote them so that my future self would find one at just the right moment. This one stood out to me:

Drowning

My heart is slowly breaking as I stand upon the shore,
These mistakes that you are making, I can’t take them anymore,
You say that you are seeking a new life that is your own,
But the life that you are living made you someone I don’t know.

I watch you float before me, holding on with all your might,
As the pillars that you cling to drag you slowing from the light,
You say that you are happy as you hold on to your strife,
But the waves are getting higher and they dare to take your life.

Your strength, at once admired, it has weakened, fading fast,
You are sinking, you are hopeless, and I fear you’ll breath your last,
The waves are fierce and mighty as they drag you out to sea,
The shoreline forms my chapel and I pray God will hear my plea:

I pray that you are happy, you are faithful, you are warm,
I pray that God protect you as you try to fare this storm,
I pray you find what you are seeking and you save what you have lost,
But I also pray the journey is worth far more than the cost.

As I kneel down in my chapel, a ray of light breaks through the gloom,
It fights its way through darkness and offers safety from this doom,
But distance grows between us, you get farther day by day,
And, hopelessly, I watch you as you slowly float away.

A Children’s Psalm

Poetry

Not Me

I don’t fit in your little world,
It is not made for me,
You’ve pushed and shoved and taped and glued,
It simply will not be.

I’ve tried to walk the way you do,
I’ve tried to sing your key,
I always seem to be off tune,
It is not meant for me.

You ask me to be just like you,
A droplet in a sea,
But mine is red, the rest is blue,
Why can’t I simply be?

I cannot learn your silly dance,
I won’t bark up your tree,
Forget the rules, I’ll do my best,
To live my life as me.

For I was not made for this world,
I’m captive here you see,
The One who I am living for,
He died to set me free.

Until He comes, I’ll make my mark,
I’ll follow His decree,
To live a life of grace and love,
For people not like me.