A Poem from My Past

Poetry

The following is a poem I wrote a little over a year ago on September 1, 2011. I very rarely post any of my poetry, partly because I fear people judging my work; mostly because I write them for me and I don’t think they really hold much meaning to people outside of my inner world. Every so often I go through my files and read my old writings, either to laugh at myself or to remember how I felt at the time. Sometimes, I feel as though my past self wrote them so that my future self would find one at just the right moment. This one stood out to me:

Drowning

My heart is slowly breaking as I stand upon the shore,
These mistakes that you are making, I can’t take them anymore,
You say that you are seeking a new life that is your own,
But the life that you are living made you someone I don’t know.

I watch you float before me, holding on with all your might,
As the pillars that you cling to drag you slowing from the light,
You say that you are happy as you hold on to your strife,
But the waves are getting higher and they dare to take your life.

Your strength, at once admired, it has weakened, fading fast,
You are sinking, you are hopeless, and I fear you’ll breath your last,
The waves are fierce and mighty as they drag you out to sea,
The shoreline forms my chapel and I pray God will hear my plea:

I pray that you are happy, you are faithful, you are warm,
I pray that God protect you as you try to fare this storm,
I pray you find what you are seeking and you save what you have lost,
But I also pray the journey is worth far more than the cost.

As I kneel down in my chapel, a ray of light breaks through the gloom,
It fights its way through darkness and offers safety from this doom,
But distance grows between us, you get farther day by day,
And, hopelessly, I watch you as you slowly float away.

A Private Prayer

Ponderings, Random

I do a lot of praying in bathrooms. I just always find that the only time I have to be truly alone is when I’m in a bathroom stall. That’s when I finally have time to think, think and pray. Surrounded by four sturdy walls (metaphorically, since they are usually quite flimsy literally), I can finally seek solace from the noise of the day and slow down the circus in my head. No errands to run, no paper to write, nobody bothering you – that is, until the worst happens: you are forced to engage in a stall-to-stall bathroom conversation.

I’m not talking about the ever common “pass the toilet paper” exchange that is a necessary evil in the world of public hygiene practices. No, I mean the unsolicited (and usually meaningless) chatter that occurs between two unfamiliar people in a public bathroom facility. Now, I know everyone has experienced this phenomenon at least once in their life. You’re sitting there (or standing for the men out there), minding your own business, then, out of the blue, the person next to you gets the crazy idea that it would be a wonderfully opportune moment to talk to you. It doesn’t matter what the subject matter is, they just have the sudden urge to shoot the breeze. Do they know you? No. You they have a reason to know you? Not unless they enjoy meeting people whom they’ll never see again. Do you want to know them? Most certainly not. Although, under normal human circumstances such as an office party, luncheon, or park outing, you might enjoy meeting said individual, all that potential desire is deemed moot once you enter a public bathroom stall.

Of course, you go along with the conversation. We always feel the need to be polite and respond, despite the complete lack of politeness on the part of the initiator. So you painfully endure this human interaction that breaks through the private barriers of your public stall. No longer is it safe. No longer are you alone. You now share it with a detached voice that penetrates the walls and fills the space around you.

I often pray a lot in bathrooms. Most of the time, I pray that no one talks to me.