media

I objectify women.

christianity, Everyday

Some of you know that disordered eating is part of my story. For those who don’t know, I had an eating disorder in college. What started as my attempt to actually start working out turned into a daily battle to fight the gnawing hunger in my belly. In six months I lost over thirty pounds (which is impressive for my already small frame), stopped menstruating for what would be a year, and permanently altered my relationship with food and my understanding of what it means to be beautiful. 

But this post isn’t about my past experience with an eating disorder or the fact that I still struggle with negative food thoughts from time to time. This post is about the harrowing realization that, although I’m a strong supporter of true beauty and healthy choices, my inner life actually perpetuates the messages I actively try to combat.

Every time I get stressed because I haven’t worked out, I accept the lie that my calorie-consumption directly affects my worth. Every time I read a fitness blog and sigh because I physically cannot ever attain a thigh-gap (ladies, some people just aren’t made that way), I assent that there is a physical norm we must adhere to. Every time I compare and contrast my appearance with that of another woman God has created, I choose to reduce them to an object. In short, I objectify women, because I objectify myself. And that’s pretty disgusting.

Don’t worry, I’m not giving myself all the blame. It’s well-known that women are forced-fed unhealthy beauty standards by the media. (I work in advertising, so I know far too well the messages that are being propagated, though I actively fight against it.) But we cannot blame media for our eager acceptance of their lies, for our willingness to swallow their images, for our crazed appetite for the next beauty line or fashion magazine… because the lie has been revealed.

We know the images we see aren’t true and that they don’t portray femininity in its full beautiful spectrum. We know that the media has skewed society’s perception of what ladies are supposed to look like. And that knowledge, borrowing from our friends at School House Rock, gives us power. We have the opportunity to change that, and some ladies already have. Whether it’s submitting petitions to magazines to include non-photoshopped photos in their publications or supporting products like Dove and their Campaign for True Beauty, there’s a lot that we can do to stop the objectification of our fellow women.

But it has to start with us. All it takes is some action, no matter how small. And that means starting to see ourselves – myself – differently. For me, that means finding an accountability partner to help me love my body the way God made it, and catching myself every time I judge another woman on their appearance instead of their character. For you, it might mean throwing away your scale. Or enjoying food because it’s healthy, not because it’s low in calories. Or removing the phrases “shedding for the wedding” and “summer body” from your vocabulary. Or just saying affirming things to yourself in the mirror in the morning when you wake up (I went through a time when I had no less than 10 Bible verses written in expo marker on mine).

It’s true society isn’t very helpful, but we can help each other. It doesn’t have to be some huge social campaign. But it has to be something.

Haley Takes SXSW

Advertising, Everyday, Travel

Tomorrow afternoon I’m driving to Austin for the SXSW Interactive Festival. Many of you already know this because I either haven’t stopped talking about it or you stalk me on Twitter. Or both.

For those who don’t know what SXSW is, here is a brief synopsis: it’s awesome. But in all seriousness, it’s one of the largest festivals of its kind. Spanning several weeks, SXSW is broken up into several sections, namely Music, Film, and Interactive. Most people are familiar with the music and film aspect, but I will be attending the Interactive portion of the festival.

SXSW Interactive focuses on interactive media and emerging technology. The website explains further that “the event features five days of compelling presentations from the brightest minds in emerging technology, scores of exciting networking events hosted by industry leaders and an unbeatable line-up of special programs showcasing the best new websites, video games and startup ideas the community has to offer. From hands-on training to big-picture analysis of the future, SXSW Interactive has become the place to experience a preview of what is unfolding in the world of technology.” Cool, huh?

So why am I going? My agency is sending me and four others to the festival in order to learn more about upcoming media and new technology that so that we can gain a better understanding of where our industry is going and the opportunities for where we could take it in the future. So, over the next 5 days I’ll basically be in creative nerd-land listening to some of the brightest minds in the media world. And that is just the place for a young advertiser.

In classic Haley-style, I considered blogging my trip just like I have my other travels in the past (see: Scotland and London). However, I also realized that I’m going to be crazy busy and people may not necessarily be interested in my day-to-day laundry list of activities. Thus, I’ll mostly be logging my trip through my Twitter account. If you’re interested in following my adventure, you can get live coverage by clicking here.

Other than seminars and workshops, I’ll also be getting a lot of free swag, enjoying free parties and food, meeting some cool, like-minded people, and catching up with several old friends who will be attending as well.

Overall, I’m super pumped. Can you tell?

Social Fasting

Advertising

The first project for my Social Media Marketing course was to go without any form of social media for 24 hours. I groaned when I read the assignment, thinking about everything I’d miss out on by not checking my Facebook or Twitter. Thoughout the day we were supposed to keep a log  describing if and when we were faced with the temptation to use social media and how we reacted. Our professor said that it was okay if we cheated, but we had to log why we did and what we felt. Of course, being the professor-pleaser that I am, I vowed to go cold-turkey – that lasted about 3 mintues.

I began at 10 am by sending out warnings to my Facebook friends and Twitter followers that I was going on a 24-hour hiatus – as if the world would stop without me. Immediately, I found the need to access facebook on my iPhone to locate the phone number of a person I was supposed to be meeting to work on a project. It blew my mind that it took only that long to realize how much I depended on social media for day-to-day activities. Then, I felt compelled to tweet about my inability to locate my partner’s contact info and the insecurity I felt waiting outside the cafeteria alone (I overcame that desire). During the day, I faced similar situations: the desire to tweet about the fact I was fasting, the guilt of leaving my words with friends opponents hanging, the frustration of hardly being to check my phone without an alert from Mashable popping up.

I’m ashamed to say that the first half of my day was consumed with thoughts of the social interactions I was missing by giving up social media. At one point my sister even shoved her phone in my face saying “did you see this tweet?” and I had to remind her that no, I had not.

Then something happened. I got bored. Normally when I get bored I’ll surf the internet and check my various social media outlets. But that day I decided to hunker down and finish reading that book I’d been meaning to. And that’s when I discovered the value of this fast – I wasn’t distracted. There wasn’t the pesky thought in the back of my brain urging me to constantly connect or the need to check to see if anyone had reached out to me, waiting for messages and notifications and distant interactions, because, well, I couldn’t. It was just me and my book. I was alone. I finally realized the simply truth about the impact of social media on my generation: we are never alone.

Although I have gone back to using all my social media outlets, I have definitely gained an understanding of how social media alone has and will continue to change our world. It makes a small world even smaller and yet distances us from eachother in a way that no other medium has. We can connect with anyone, anywhere, at anytime, all from the safety of seclusion. We may be surrounded by connections, but we have disconnected ourselves from what really matters.

Social media shouldn’t constitute the entirety of our social experiences. It should act as a tool to engage, not the only means of doing so.