Bulk up.

I like to think I’m a generous person, but the honest truth is that I’m a cheapskate. From couponing for my wedding to having a strict resale-only wardrobe, I’m THAT person who is always looking for a way to get something for a lower price – quality be darned. Thus, buying in bulk has become my thing. But recently I have become frustrated by the fact that there are some things in life that just aren’t cheaper when you get them in large quantities. And that’s just plain wrong. To address this grave disservice to the human race, I will revive my ever-entertaining “lists” with this…

Things That Should Be Cheaper in Bulk But Aren’t

1. Stamps – Snail mail may seem something of the past, but my mailman knows better. Aside from spam mail and the obscure magazine subscriptions of my apartment’s former tenant, I enjoy it. It’s nice to get a physical letter at your door instead of a digital file in your inbox. Recently, I’ve wanted to up my letter-writing game to spread the joy around, but MAN. Stamps be expensive. Why is there no discount for bulk stamps?

2. Prescription Medication – No. I’m not a junky. But I grew up with chronic strep throat and year-round allergies, and my poor parents had to buy me loads of pills to make sure I could run around the playground with the other kids. What if they could have bought a load of penicillin for the pantry? That way hayfever season could come for a fraction of the cost of going to the doctor once a year.

3. Gasoline – I’ll make this brief because I know you get it. Let’s just say that if I could get a discount at the pump if I filled up some spare gas cans, I’d do it.

4. Babies – I’m a twin, so I have been made very much aware of how much children cost families. The little bundles of joy can get expensive depending on your preference for diapers and whether or not you want your child to look like a mini J Crew model. While most of the cost just comes with the territory of family expansion, my heart goes out to the families of multiples. But let’s start small…I propose the “have two-or-more-babies-at-once-get-one-hospital-stay-free” rule.

5. Textbooks – Although I’ve been out of school for three years, I’m still feeling the pain of being a student – specifically in my bank account. One of the more frustrating costs of college is the always fluctuating price of textbooks. Semester to semester my classes could cost me anywhere from $400-$800 for textbooks (and I was just a liberal arts major). Why punish students for buying the proper material? Instead, I say the more textbooks you buy for school, the cheaper they should be.

6. Starbucks – Obviously, I saved the most important for last. This one goes out to all the interns and sub-level employees who offer to get their teammates coffee. Let’s say you get one drink free for every six you buy for your coworkers. Oh, and the free one is for you.

What about you? What do you think should be cheaper in bulk?

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