But tomorrow I probably won’t.
That’s pretty typical for me. Sometimes I feel like I’ve finally reached adult status. I’m meeting deadlines and finishing work projects and paying bills and I just did my own laundry dang it! But next thing I know, I’m curled up on my couch watching Disney movies on Netflix and eating pudding and sprinkles with a princess spoon.
It’s not that I’m unhappy about that. I just expected being an adult would feel differently. I always thought that adulthood would initiate one day, like flipping a light switch or turning on my laptop. But there’s not some proverbial threshold that adolescents cross that suddenly makes them adults. There’s no magic button to press or Stargate to go through or certificate that says you’re official. It doesn’t just happen; it’s always happening.
When I was a kid, I thought adults had things all figured out. I thought they’d reached the end of childhood, like it was the first level of Life’s video game. But I realized that adults are just big kids playing dress-up in business suits and heels. They are still trying to figure stuff out. Instead of a flipping a light switch or leveling up, adulthood is more like getting halfway through a huge puzzle. The picture gets a little clearer, but you’re still just trying to figure out where all the other pieces go.
I don’t know if I’ll ever feel like an adult, or like I’ve left my childish ways behind, and I’m okay with that. It’s not that I think that adults aren’t allowed to be kids. I just refuse to believe it has to be this big transformation. I don’t believe there’s such thing as a grown up – we’re merely all growing up.