I used to have a Myspace — like every millennial in the early 2000s. It took me a while to jump on the Myspace bandwagon because I was a prepubescent hipster and didn’t want to abandon my Xanga for some “fad.” But I eventually did. One of the things that I most remember about Myspace, other than the fight-inducing “Top Friends” feature, was the ever-present and often “TMI” Myspace survey. To pay homage to a long forgotten past and to relive a bit of nostalgia, I have included a Myspace survey below (answers are current, though questions are not).

Survey Retrieved from MyspaceBulletins.Com (because it still exists).

What is your favorite Kool-Aid flavor?
Red. Yes, it’s a flavor. Shut up.

Do you have a wireless keyboard and mouse?
Yes. It’s connected to my fancy MacBook Pro in my office cubicle.

Last sporting event you watched on tv or in person?
The Cowboys game on Thanksgiving.

Who makes the best fudge?
My Nana, Helen Gatewood-Kenny.

Do you like it when toothpaste bubbles in your mouth?
Toothpaste bubbles? Thankfully I’ve never had to experience this horror. Am I using it correctly?

Do you believe that the world is gonna end at 2012?
Yes. I actually don’t exist right now. I’m typing from a computer that I implanted my psyche into.

How many songs are on your iPod or MP3 Player?
I have one iPod nano dedicated to my 900 Broadway Show Tunes.

Can you swear inside your house?
I’m 23. I can swear anywhere I want.

Have you ever had a pet goldfish?
No. But I recently lost my pet Betta fish, Hamlet. He was almost two years old. He probably died because I didn’t feed him while I was out of town. Or because the food I was feeding him was also two-years old.

When did you last eat waffles?
Um… 4 years ago? Someone get me a waffle.

What is the most overrated thing in your opinion?
Twerking. And Aeropostale.

What color is your bed comforter?
It’s a floral print – dark pink, light pink, green, yellow, and cream.

Does being in love make you gain weight?
This question makes me uncomfortable. And hungry,

Dumbest person you know? and why?
I don’t associate with dumb people. Kidding. But really.

Do your parents have home videos of you as a kid?
Yes. Several DVDs worth. It’s like I’m famous or something.

How old is your oldest cousin?
23.

If you HAD to get a tattoo, where and what would it be?
I would get a freckle tattooed on my freckle.

Do you think Obama has tried drugs?
I know he’s tried drugs. I read his autobiography.

What color is your bra or boxers?
Nude. This question also makes me uncomfortable.

What is your favorite radio station?
KLTY in Dallas, the station for 60s, 70s, and 80s music. Houston seems to think it doesn’t need an oldies station, which is mega lame.

What brand is your refrigerator?
Old.

How many people do you know that are pregnant?
Too many.

Do you have a picture with your middle finger up?
Yes. Accompanied by my other four fingers.

What is the best thing to happen to you this year so far?
I met someone special.

Do you read a newspaper daily?
Does Twitter count?

Anything you’re really afraid of?
Failure. Abandonment. And disappointing people.

Do you like your peanut butter crunchy or creamy?
Creamy. Though I can do both.

What is the scariest movie you’ve ever seen?
Gravity. No lie.

Have you ever ridden a skateboard?
If “fallen off a skateboard” counts as riding one.

Do you drink enough water on a daily basis?
Probably not. But I pee enough to make me think I do.

Would you burn the American flag for a million dollars?
No. Because I wouldn’t go to prison if you paid me a million dollars.

The main thing you can’t leave your house without?
My iPhone.

When was the last time you read a book?
I’m currently on track to read one book a month for all of 2013.

Where did you get that shirt you’re wearing?
Hand-me-down from my Step Mom.

Do you play pranks on April Fools Day?
My mom’s birthday is April Fools Day. So yes. Obviously.